My food struggle

I've realized that I have talked on this for a while. Well actually complained. I honestly don't think people understand when I say that I literally feel like an idiot when it comes to food. Healthy food. Good food. Lets start with my past.

Ever since I was a kid I was super skinny. Not on purpose either. I could eat anything and everything! I never gained about. I was 110 pounds up till I was about 20 years old. So because of this, I never learned to eat healthy. I never needed to. I could drink soda, eat fast food, junk food. It didn't matter. I was 'healthy' in the sense that my body had no health issues. When I started putting on weight, I still had the mind set that I could eat anything and everything. No problem. So I never learned to eat healthy. I so wish I could go back to Pullman days when I was a 130lbs. I didn't know it then, but I wasn't "fat". I was actually healthy! Now, my weight has hit numbers I never thought I would see. And my sugar addiction is so ridiculous that sometimes it controls me. I am currently pre-diabetic and would prefer it to NEVER go to diabetic. Which is partly why I am in the process of losing weight now. That and I want to be an example for my kids. I never want my girls to deal with the crap I am going through now. Sadly, they eat better then I do sometimes, and drink more water!

I am working out daily. Which I have almost given up on since its pointless to workout when your diet SUCKS! I'm a picky eater, and a sugar addict. I'm terrified to try new foods. And while I am branching out a little bit lately, I am terrified to actually buy something and bring it home. Things I thought were healthy end up not being healthy and trying to figure out how much of what I can have is hard. And then the sugar. Oh the sugar! The sugar is such a weakness for me. Its so hard for me to pass up sugar. Even if its not in my house, I will go to the store and its so hard to resist!! I suck at buying fruit because I buy it either too ripe or not ripe enough. In which I don't eat it soon enough or forget about it while it ripens. I don't snack on healthy things. I don't think outside the box. Cereal for breakfast. Sandwiches and chips for lunch. Dinner I tend to be more open but still stay mostly in my box. I don't have a good handle on healthy and I struggle with sugar. I don't want those diets that you do shakes or take meds or drink a drink to be healthy or lose weight. Sure I could afford it now but what happens when I lose all the weight and I dont NEED that stuff anymore and go back to life without those things?? I still haven't learned how to eat properly and now instead of learning, I'm taking/eating/drinking something that may or may not help me lose weight. I want to learn to eat properly. I want to be taught good healthy salads. Lunches, Dinners. Breakfast. I want to be able to get a handle on my eating and my sugar intake so that if I have that down and I'm working out and drinking more water and STILL not losing weight, then and ONLY THEN, I can look into Plexus/Herbalife/Shakeology. But to me, those things are pointless because I need to change my lifestyle. Not add a possible quick fix.

We are trying to be more dye free because of Josiah and less processed food. Which we are doing ok with, But really I need help. I need to know good foods for lunch and dinner that are healthy. That aren't scary! lol I need help. I feel completely stupid and overwhelmed with food. I want to conquer it but have NO clue how to. Or where to start. That also isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg. I have 6 people to feed. I don't expect cheap but I also dont want to pay an arm and a leg for it either!!