NICU-A Beautiful Mess

I am a part of a pregnancy board on facebook titled August Snakes. I joined the group right at the beginning of my pregnancy and have been very active in the group. I have gotten to know a lot of the ladies in there and knowing they were going through what I was going through really helped when miserable. We've enjoyed jokes, we shared our husband stories, we talked about silly shows we watch to what our beliefs are on some hot issues like circumcision, vaccinations, ect. And the most amazing thing about this board? There has been no fighting, no name calling, no in your fact rudeness which you get with a lot of boards like this. Hence the reason why I am rarely on babycenter.com! It's been awesome board of women supporting each other when we needed it the most! We did lose a few moms in the beginning due to miscarriages but some of them actually stayed in our group and are currently pregnant again! Most of us were due end of July to beginning of Sept. And we had births starting as early as May! Premies. Small babies and most of them were twins. We had two babies who ended up dying on us and it was sad and our mamas did their best to pull together and do something for those moms and also to be their for all the NICU moms who were struggling. Most our NICU babies are home now and doing awesome! And we celebrate with them. Each one of their stories has touched my heart in some way and made me so grateful that my babies have never had to endure their long roads. The strength of these moms *and dads too!* has been amazing and I hope that they realize how much strength they have. But there is one mom who has touch my heart maybe just smidge more then the others and probably because she shouldn't be in the NICU. Her baby boy was born at 37 weeks, weighed a whopping 9lbs 8oz! He was born the same day as Evie and yet is in the nicu because they knew he would be born with only one lung. I don't know the full details but they knew he would be in the NICU when he was born and they knew he would need surgery after he was born and they knew they would have a long road ahead of them. But knowing is so different then living it. And doing it day after day after day. Mama had a c-section with this little guy. And her recovery has not been picture perfect. Dealing with the pain of the c-section, the stuff going on with her son, and her body turning against her, I am amazed at this woman's strength. It seems like just when they get over one hurdle, another one seems to hit them and I know God is watching over them and helping them through it and giving them the strength they need, but seriously, I know it has had to been very hard on them!! Mama and baby are both doing much better now and because of this, she was able to finally hold her son for the first time about a week and a half after he was born. The picture was heart wrenching! No mom should ever have to go through that! Ever! I want to share a pic she gave me permission to share. She titled it a beautiful mess. Because in the midst of all the wires and cords and chaos, her handsome little man was alive an breathing. This is a reality for NICU moms. One I have never, nor will I ever, experience. It's hard for them. Its sad how long some of them are there *one of our moms is going on 14 weeks!* and the amount the stuff they have to deal with from staying in the hospital to no longer welcome to stay at the hospital and deciding if they should get a hotel room close to the hospital or drive 45 mins to 2 hours just to visit every day to not visiting every day. Decisions they shouldn't have to make but are not having to make. Wondering when their little ones will go home, will they be able to nurse or will they have to pump? Maybe they will have to do formula because their supply is too low. Will the road ahead be hard and long with trials all over the place or will it be easy going and smooth like a lot of non NICU moms go through. I know being a non NICU mom doesnt mean we wont have a hard time down the road with some medical issue but its less likely. I also know that being a NICU mom doesn't mean you will have a hard road but again, its more likely. I don't envy these moms. I dont ever want to go through what they are going through but I do know that if I ever have, I hope I have the same strength they have and the same support they have because without it, I know they would crumble. Its a hard situation. And one I am more aware of. Prayers for these mamas and the roads they will travel!

 A Beautiful Mess