so in the blog titled Info I wrote how I wrote a blog and lost it some how. This is the one. I apparently put it on my husbands without realizing it! So now here it is! And Im better too. Im not as sad and sometimes it hurts to see Miki prego, but for the most part, Im doing good. My time is coming. Soon. I know that. Just have to trust in the Lord.
Today would be a semi bad day. Its one of those days where you are happy but sad all at the same time. My best friend is pregnant. We were pregnant together. It was one of the things we wanted. She's still prego and I am not. I know it will happen for me and I wont be too far behind. But Im still sad its not happening now. Dont get me wrong, Im so happy for Miki! Im excited to share in this with her and to help her get her house ready for baby. But Im sad for me cause I could be there in the same position and Im not. I know it will happen but because I want it so bad I feel like the days are long and it will be forever before it happens.
The thing that angers me the most is, I know a lady who is pregnant with her 6th child. She's aborted two already and is 6 months prego now. She's also doing drugs, codine. Lots of it. Its so bad her 13 year is going to tell CPS and try and get imancipated as soon as he can. She's not a good mother, and yet she has no problem popping out babies. Me on the other hand, I would do everything in my power to protect my baby, and I lost it. I know Im not suppose to compare myself to other people, but its hard. Specially when people treat their kids horribly or dont think of them as a blessing from God. Today is just a hard day.
On another note, I went and had my prego test done tuesday. It says Im slightly pregnant still so I had to have blood work done today. Im havent heard from the dr yet and will be calling them in the morning so I know what is going on and if Im good. I think I will be. I just stopped bleeding monday and so I think that my system is still getting cleaned out. I think it will all turn out ok.
And another note, I want everyone to know that has younger kids, that doesnt bug me. I love kids and will always love kids even when I dont have my own at the moment. So dont worry about visiting us with kids and thinking it will be hard on me cause it wont. Being around pregnant people is harder then being around kids. But please, if you are prego, dont hesitate to visit cause of that. I love you all and miss you all and will not bug me to see you prego. I will be happy for you! And cant wait to see belly pics from all of you!!
Please continue to pray for me. Some days are harder then others. And I hopefully will resume my monthly period and get started on those babies I know God has for me. Thank you all for being there for us. We really appreciate it! Love and God Bless all of you!
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