Friday, August 22, 2008
today
When I said I was fine, I meant it. But that doesnt mean that I dont miss baby CJ, or that I wont ever cry again, or that I wont have some bad days. Today would be a bad day. I needed to buy some new jeans, since I put on a tad bit of weight the pregnancy and well my reg jeans are too small. Our mall is being remodeled at the moment and our Shopko happens to be in the mall. And they too have decided to remodel their store. I have no problem with it at all. I wont find anything now cause they are changing the layout, but its cool. Change is good. However, temporarily Im sure, they had the maternity wear right at the front of the store, displayed for all to see. Stuff I didnt see when I went shopping there, cute stuff! Stuff on sale! Of course, me missing my baby, went and just looked. I didnt buy, but that didnt help me feel any better about losing our little one. Then while running errands all day I saw every little kid, every pregnant woman, and missed my little even more. Made me alittle sad and depressed today. Im hopeful and know we will have little ones some day but it still hurts to lose our little one. So while, for the most part, I am fine, there will be days when I seem sad and that is why. I just miss my little one.
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2 comments:
I love you.
You are an amazing woman who God wants to bless. Your body is PRIME for getting pregnant. Your body is already ready waiting for another, and now is the perfect time to be pregnant! And when it happens, don't be afraid to live! Dont you dare sit on the couch fearing that you'll get hurt.
You've gone through this for a reason, and God is blessing you. There may be a woman in the future of whom only you, with this experiance, may bless.
God loves you. And i am here for you. If you ever need to get away, im here! Both you and your husband are welcome!
Talk to me anytime!
-Leah
This is one reason why I chose not to come down there right away. Seems like Katelyn would just be a reminder, so honestly I am sorry for not getting a trip planned right away. Staying positive and hopeful for the future little one is good for all of us. So how does your September/October look? We have a few things going on but can make a trip down there to visit when our schedules gel (even during the week).
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