"Breast is Best!"

"Breast is Best!" This is a phrase heard a lot when your a pregnant person. Sometimes, in my opinion, too much. There are many benefits to breastfeeding. There are antibodies that tend to help your child's immune system and, from my understanding, you can put breast milk on several things and it will help heal! It's better for your child as you produce exactly what said child needs. That and really, its cheaper! Way cheaper! And I totally agree that everyone should breastfeed. I mean, who doesn't want the best for their child right?? However, we have become so focused on the slogan, we've forgotten about the people! I know several moms who have had to put their children on formula for one reason or another. And not cause they were lazy and just didn't want to deal but because they had to. One mama had to quit cause her daughter wouldn't nurse, she pumped for 6 months!She currently has a 2nd she was nursing and is starting on formula because she had surgery and is having a hard time with it and has started to lose her supply. Another had a hard time with her son, and two of my best friends had to put their girls on formula. One cause her daughter wasn't gaining enough weight and one cause her health wasn't good and so she weaned her daughter to fix her. These are all valid reason! I even know some moms who CHOOSE to NOT breastfeed. WHAT?! Unheard of! Who wouldn't want to breastfeed? I mean, that's what a lot of moms thing. They judge those mamas and think they are better. From my experience anyways. And its not fair! It's their life, their child, their decision! So why is we feel the need to make them feel less of a mama? Why is that when moms, like my best friends, feel horrible, like failures because they couldn't nurse their babies?? How is THAT fair?? I mean, seriously, if my best friend continued to nurse her daughter without formula, there's no telling how she would have grown. Or if she would even be healthy today! And my other best friend's thyroid freaked out on her and cause some serious problems but she HAS to forgo her medical needs to do what's best for her child?? No, they both did what they felt was best! What was right. And while breast milk is best, formula is the next best thing. They are doing their best to make sure it has all the stuff babies need to grow and to be healthy. It's not perfect, but really, its not horrible either!

We have focused on the slogan and forgotten the people. I really believe that. Because if we were focused more on the people and the fact that really, regardless of their reason, they have the right to choose for their child what they feel is best, then we wouldnt have mamas feeling like failures because they couldnt nurse. I, being one of those mamas.

With Chloe in the beginning I was sure I was loosing my supply. I wasn't really, I was just stressing but I was sure I was. So I gave her formula which she proceeded to spit up all over me. Turns out she overate and I overfed! She had formula a couple of times but nursed until she was 10 months old. She chose to stop. Worked for me. I wanted to nurse till a year but 10 months was pretty good! I was proud of myself! I made it this far and most people couldn't say that. 2 months of formula wasn't too bad. And I've always been fine with formula. I mean I really saw no problem with using it at all. I'll admit, there were times I was lazy and gave Chloe a bottle but that didn't happen very often. However, with Josiah, things were different. He nursed fine in the beginning but we had way more problems. This should be easier right? I mean, he's my 2nd child! This should be easier! I should be a pro now! No, not really. He didn't seem to get enough and he actually seemed to sleep better when he had formula. Chloe was never like that! It didn't matter if she had formula or breast milk, she slept the same. Not JJ. So I would nurse him all day long and then he would get a bottle at night. Ok, I can work with that. No problem. That was about 2 months old. Then about two weeks ago, I got a yeast infection on my breasts. Now I have to put meds on and give meds to JJ. And he was teething. And that is when he started to stop nursing as much and go for the bottle. Slowly day time feedings were disappearing and he was nursing only at night. I think it's been 4 days since I've nursed him. He'll be 6 months next week. Now, I've never had a problem giving my kids formula. Never. I never saw why people made such a big deal about it or about the fact they couldn't nurse. I knew moms who would have an emotional reaction to their child not nursing anymore. I didn't understand that. At all. Then. Now I do. For some reason, not being able to nurse JJ anymore has hit me harder this time around. I keep trying to tell myself that it's really his decision, and that the infection didn't help *which is only now starting to finally go away!* and that formula isn't bad. And yet I still feel like a failure. Like somehow I screwed up. I finally had to text my best friend Becky who completely understands and ask her to remind me why formula for JJ isn't bad. When did I become bothered by this? Why did it hit me harder this time? I don't know. But what I do know is that Becky is right. I nursed longer then most women do/can. Formula isn't bad and has the essential nutrients my son will need. And it was his decision. I could fight with him and convince him he doesn't want to nurse but really, with a toddler and a house to attempt to keep clean, who has time! I barely have energy to get off my butt and move! It's not worth the fighting with him. He seems to be doing better, like he's fuller anyways. And really, right now, this is the best decision for him. I'm not gonna feel like a failure because while I am not nursing JJ, I am still continuing to provide the best care for him that I know of and that's really what matters! He's happy, healthy, and doing just fine! So, no I'm not a failure, I'm a caring mom trying a different path then I would have normally taken. It works for me.