Birthing Options

I dont get on here alot to blog anymore. Which is funny since I have a bunch of topics I would like to blog on. Been keeping sticky notes of them! Some day! I find my time is a little more limited these days with mobile Miss Chloe! And if I ever get my craft room clean to a point she can go in there, this could change! But for now, I will do it when my child is sleeping, sometimes!

We are pregnant with our second child. We find out the gender tomorrow. Im excited about this. I have a lot of people around me who are also pregnant, whether for the first time, the 3rd time, or the 6th time. Each person has their own way of doing things. Some drink caffeine, some drink wine, some have odd weird cravings and some barely eat. Some are birthing at home, some in a hospital, some with a doctor, and some with a midwife, some with drugs, and some without drugs. My point in saying all this is, that every single one of us is different in our beliefs what what we can consume, how we should act in pregnancy, and what our birthing opinions are.

When I was pregnant with Chloe, I was terrified to birth her. I mean scared to death. I could deal with the pregnancy woes and aches and pains, but the actual birthing scared me to death. Terrified me! How on earth is that big baby suppose to come through a small whole and not hurt like hell?? People CHOOSE do this?? What was I thinking!! I actually asked my doctor when I was like 20 weeks or something if I could just do a c-section cause I was scared. He told me I would do just fine and there is no need for a c-section. He told me to take the birthing classes and that the information would help. I thought he was crazy. Surely knowing more about this wasnt going to make it better but worse because I would KNOW what was happening to me! I dont want to know that, I dont want to see it, I dont want to be informed! I actually got regular emails *still do* regarding what I am experiencing and going through and also some info on epidurals and natural and all kinds of info! I read up on the epidurals and what they do and decided that there was no way I was doing that! They were not sticking that big needle in me! Not happening!! Although in all reality, I knew that I would get it cause Im a pansy. I hate being in pain and drugs for me was going to get me through this. But I was now informed and was even more terrified of the epidural! I ended up doing the birthing classes. Glad I did too. They did help me finally be comfortable with actually birthing my child through that small little whole. I was finally ready. Still scared but more willing to go for it. Funny how God got to that place and still gave me a c-section! Early in the morning, my nurse checked me and Chloe was in position and ready to go. I was dilated to 5cm. Just need that last 5cm to push. Then an hour later, my doctor checked me, said Chloe had flipped, and I needed to have an emergency c-section. I was ready to birth her normally but God still gave me what I wanted!

Fast forward to this pregnancy. I have a couple of people in my life who are all about natural birth. Have the baby at home, dont use drugs, definitely dont go to a hospital-they are bad! So when they heard I had a c-section with Chloe and was planning on the same with this one, they told me to fight for a vbac *vaginal birth after cesarean* that I had a right to birth my child the way I wanted. However, I live in Walla Walla. They legally cant do a vbac. Their insurance doesnt cover it. Women who have a vbac, while rare, have been know to have massive problems because of their scar opening up and getting and infection and what not. So our hospitals here do not cover it and will not cover it. So if I really wanted to do a vbac, I would have to drive an hour to tri-cities, have a stranger who wasnt with me during my pregnancy deliver my baby, and then drive and hour home when released. A-not worth it to me, b-I have no problem with a 2nd c-section and would not feel robbed of not birthing my child "normally". These people in my life trying to convince me to fight, dont understand, they dont try to understand, and they still are trying to convince me to fight for that vbac! Im fine with your choice to birth at home, with a midwife, in a pool, whatever. I dont care, its your decision. I dont necessarily like it but its not my child! Doesnt mean I dont respect what you want to do. Im just asking for the same thing! Im tired of these people trying to make me feel horrible for wanting a c-section. Im tired of these people making it out like Im doing horrible dangers to my child by having a c-section. Im tired of people making my fear of delivery no big deal. "Women have been doing this since the dawn of time" "God made us to do this, quit worrying" "Dont act like a baby, its normal!" Guess what, just because we were made to do this doesnt mean there still isnt risk. Doesnt mean that those women in the early years werent scared, they just really had no other options! Doesnt mean that Im not allowed to be terrified of something that is hard for me to comprehend. And just because you dont understand my want of a c-section, my fear of a "normal" birth, doesnt mean you have the right to convince me to go another way, your way, or that you can diminish my fear and make it out like "its all in my head" or that you can disrespect what I want and how I feel about this. Its my child, my body, my decision! I didnt dis on you for birthing your child at home, with no doctors, no meds, and almost dropping your child on the floor because you werent "prepared" for him to come this early. I said, "wow, glad your hubby was there to catch him and that all is well! Congrats!" I respected you even though I didnt agree with your methods. All Im asking for is the same respect. I mean really, thats what friends are suppose to do right??